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What's Your Parenting Resolution?
Candace Lindemann
Do you make New Year's resolutions? Do you find resolutions are helpful?
New Year's resolutions are notorious for remaining unfulfilled. I've heard, though, that making a public declaration of your resolution provides a sort of "positive peer pressure". And if you make your resolution measurable and check your progress, you have a better chance of accomplishing your goal.
Last year, I resolved to spend less time "plugged-in" while my kids were awake and in my care and more time connected to them. This was facilitated in part by their growing ability to play independently, the find of a wonderful babysitter who joined us for five hours one day a week, and my taking on less work for my main contract. I think, overall, I've done a pretty good job. I set-up times when I know I can get work done, I do additional working and online socializing when the kids are otherwise occupied or sleeping, and if the kids want my attention, I get off the computer or iPhone immediately.
There's still room for improvement--and I may need to resurrect my old pre-kids resolution to stop procrastinating so much! It never worked in the past but maybe being a parent will give me added incentive.
This year, I resolve to be a more patient parent. As we craft together, I will focus on the process and resist the urge to "do it for them" just because I can complete the task more quickly--efficiency is not the goal and the learning and pleasure are in the journey. When my daughter takes five minutes to buckle herself in as I freeze my tush off outside, waiting, I will strive to remember that she is growing towards independence. During my toddler's tantrums, I will try my best to understand that he is not trying to "push my buttons" but rather is just overwhelmed and frustrated.
And I will keep in mind, whenever I feel my temper start to rise, that I am the adult. I always have the choice to escalate a situation or to diffuse it.
And when I forget, I will forgive myself and try harder next time.
I look forward to hearing your parenting resolutions!
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