How can I help my daughter from comparing her skills to others?


It’s natural for children to compare themselves to other children, so it is important to teach them that everyone is different and that there are many wonderful ways to be special. In fact, giving children the confidence to be themselves is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give to their child. You can do this by teaching children to make “self-self” comparisons, rather than “self-other” comparisons. This allows children to see how they have grown and improved over time, and teaches them that their success or failure is independent from others, and does not hinge on how good or not good others are at something. One of my favorite books on the importance of being yourself is the book “Zero” by Kathryn Otoshi. “Only One You” and “You Be You” by Linda Kranz are two other wonderful books that focuses on the importance of individuality and not comparing yourself to others.

Jennie Ito, Ph.D.

Child Development Expert

Jennie Ito is a mother of two and a child development consultant who specializes in children’s play and toys. Before becoming a consultant for LeapFrog, she was an intern at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, DC, and later worked as a content expert for the Association of Children’s Museum’s “Playing for Keeps” Play Initiative. Jennie earned her doctorate degree in developmental psychology at Queen’s University in Ontario, Canada.

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